Well kids, I apologize for that huge cosplay dump. I'm really getting into it, haha. I'm still a huge n00b, but everyone starts somewhere, right?
As for my Lightning cosplay, I still need to do her Sword and her boots. I've got a pretty good idea on how to do the sword, but I need ideas for the boots. [link]
I guess,.. I'm doing fine. Although the stress from school(and my life-long habit of over-analyzing things) is literally driving me from society. I should probably post something soon, and now that I'm done obsessing over that stupid Psychology exam I had, I should have some good time to do so.
Set aside my usual anxieties, school is actually going pretty well. I enjoy being there, as well as the overall freedom. It's very nice. The gentlemen that spend time in the commons have been kind enough to teach me how to play Magic the Gathering, and I've taken quite a liking to it, so we'll see how that goes. (Err, and, hopefully they'll continue to go easy on me for the time being..)
So far, I'd have to say that my favorite part of school is the yard outside the commons, where everybody goes to smoke. The leaves are starting to turn, and there's a big nice maple tree that I like to sit under and watch the others from afar. I've been doing a lot of charcoal and gesture drawings just by loose observation of the kids outside and I must admit I enjoy doing it a lot. :3 It has helped me improve my art and utilize more dynamic poses, so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways, I hope everybody is doing well, and I also hope to post more art soon, but I say that every time I write a journal entry, now don't I?
- pico-chan
I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. - Thomas Paine
edit:well, i just wrote a very extensive and detailed blog about a very intricate and annoying situation i am in the middle of right now, but with an accidental twitch of the mouse the computer somehow backtracked and deleted my entire entry. i am very angry about that, but maybe it's for the best. the people who were involved know what happened and that's all that matters.
i'll just sum up the latter, i guess. however, this entry without the entire story may seem to put me at fault. i guess i can deal with that. here goes:
just to start off, i am having a very difficult day. today at school i saw someone who i've not spoken with for the duration of the entire summer and within good reason. due to some events that took place last may at my school's senior prom, (which i begged my dear friend to go to, assuring her that she'd have a much better time than she probably did. i feel terrible about that, btw. i'm sorry, i promise i meant well, bby.) anyways, i just sort of looked at him, and he looked at me. no harm intended, i promise. he sent me a text minutes later telling me that i gave him a dirty look and that i was mentally ill and blah blah blah. allllright?
i just sort of brushed it off and kept on going. as i was walking i had begun to recall an argument i had with his stupid friend over WoW (because he's a pussy and can't fight his own damned battles.) where i had explained my side of the story in detail, as well as explained why i took the actions i did and so forth. i swear to god he didn't read a word i wrote, because he completely brushed it off and kept asking me questions i had clearly answered in my explanation. i then reminded him that i had been sent a whisper by one of his main toons that sort of offended me. yeah, well, they both tried to tell me that it was his stupid cousin just using his account. which is right funny, considering he has is own account and i've only spoken to him like twice in my life. does he have a right to say something like that to me? no, not really. nice try, though.
i became very frustrated after whisper beyond whisper of false accusations and irrelevant words and began to ignore people. of course, the seventh graders they are, they began to log onto different characters just to harass me.
having finally felt i said what i needed to, i became annoyed and logged off. sheesh. again, i brushed it off. just tonight, i was sitting at my boyfriend's house, trying to recuperate from my first stressful day of college. i was about halfway through my psychology homework when i received a text. although anonymous, i knew right away by the illiterate text that it was either him or his dumb ass friend. (it's really hard to take someone seriously when they write like that, but i did my best.) again, harassment and false accusations. alright, so i tried to explain myself one last time, but obviously to no avail. apparently i'm the one who is at fault here and that needs to apologize, but i won't. i refuse, because i am not entirely at fault here. they refuse to take into consideration their negative contributions (of course), and this is not a valid argument. he also kept trying to tell me that i shouldn't have started "unnecessary fights" even though they initially whispered me on WoW, and that they are the ones sending me rude texts. you think i wanted any of this?
after awhile of harassing 12-year old texts, i had gotten very tired and frustrated of trying to defend myself and began to beg them to just leave me alone.
of course not.
i was only acting in the defense of my good friend, thinking she wouldn't openly stick up for herself, and i don't regret it. i've said all that i've needed to and that's all i can do. just kinda wish they would grow the fuck up, considering we're in college now.
anyways, sorry for the rant, guys. ): all of this has sort of ruined my day, and i have much more important things to focus on at the moment.
on a lighter note, i love you all, and hope you are all doing well. take care~
i haven't posted anything new in quite some time. after some experimentation i've come to realize that i'm really not good at any form of digital art. haha, i kind of feel like i'm being left behind, but traditional art is the only thing i'm comfortable with posting. unfortunately, any scanner that i use gives my finished pieces little to no justice. ugh.
well, anwyays, i'm bored so i've decided do a fun little survey thing. woohoo.
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I’ve come to realize." At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!!
1. I've come to realize that my chest-size... is something i seldom think about.
2. I've come to realize that my job is... shitty. i've worked there for approximately three years now. they tell me they're going to move me up from my current position and then they change their minds and decide not to tell me. also, i don't get enough hours and the managers are bullshit. :/
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving... i turn into a zombie. i end up at places and i don't remember driving there. it's weird.
4. I've come to realize that I need.... to start exercising. it's good for my health and my mind. i'm sick of being a fatty :d
5. I've come to realize that I have lost... my mind. i know that everything is in its right place, but i feel like i'm being rushed. i'm totally nervous for college to start. :/
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when... i promise myself i'll do something and i don't.
7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk... i've had too much. >_>
8. I've come to realize that money... is in short supply. i don't get enough hours to make up for it. gotta work harder and save more and not take for granted the fact that i actually have a job in this shit economy.
9. I've come to realize that certain people... don't really matter.
10. I've come to realize that I'll always ... need someone to lean on. i can't do anything by myself.
11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)... are growing up and away from me.
12. I've come to realize that my mom... works hard everyday for us. <3
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone... is something i should use more often. >_>
14. I came to realize that when I woke up this morning... i can't stay the way i am right now.
15. I've come to realize that before i go to sleep... i should pee first >_>
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking... about the pizza that i ruined i hope nick isn't angry, considering he's the master of making pizzas. i was just trying to be helpful!
17. I've come to realize that my dad... does everything for us. i hope he gets a job soon. i get the feeling his apparent decent into depression has something to do with him not being able to financially support us. i love you anyways, dad. <3
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook... i don't know how to use it that well, haha.
19. I've come to realize that today... i didn't push myself as hard as i should have.
20. I've come to realize that tonight... will be a waste, just like the rest of this summer. ..i play too much WoW. :d
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow... i'm going to make healthier decisions.
22. I've come to realize that I really want to... get fit and do well in college!
23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is... probably no one, but i'll tag you anyways. :3
24. I've come to realize that life... is changing. i am always uncertain of myself.
25. I've come to realize that this weekend... was nice. i never get weekends off. (: nonetheless, it was a complete and utter waste.
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset... hm, songs that fit my mood.
27. I've come to realize that my friends... are amazing for putting up with me.
28. I've come to realize that this year... is going to be very different. i have no idea whether i'll be able to cope or not.
29. I've come to realize that my ex... were wastes of my time. all of them need to get over themselves. i am ashamed i ever dated any of them. (:
30. I've come to realize that maybe I should... learn to depend less on others. get in shape. keep my promises.
31. I've come to realize that I love... sunsets; night skies. kicking back and playing video games. :3
32. I've come to realize that I don't understand... a lot of things.
33. I've come to realize my past... is not something to be proud of. i've never done anything out of the ordinary, and i don't do enough things to better myself.
34. I've come to realize that parties... are something i'm never invited to.
35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified... of getting old and wasting my life.
36. I've come to realize that my life... is changing. i've also come to realize that i already answered this question.
i tag anyone who read this. hope you're all doing well!
I got misty eyes as they said farewell,
Distracted
Sadness
i hope nick isn't angry, considering he's the master of making pizzas. i was just trying to be helpful! 
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